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Your Baby Can Read - Free Instant Download
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The Deal Is...

You're Not Alone!

My sister went to Africa once. She went to Kenya, and she told me all about it when she got back...

The people working at the hotel she stayed at had to work for free for two years before they'd even be considered worthy of dishing up tea and cucumber sandwiches to wealthy westerners in return for a piss poor wage.

She knows because her guide told her!

There's no point giving cash to the poverty stricken schools for paper and pencils, as the headmaster keeps it all to pay for his new mercedes and make you feel sorry for the kids to make you pay more.

She knows because her guide told her!

She saw the slums, and the people who lived in them. They come from a different tribe to her guide and the hotelworkers, and apparently they have all the help they could possibly want to earn a good wage for themselves, but they decline it in favour of living in all the gut wrenching poverty that a country in Africa can offer, because they're lazy.

She knows because her guide told her!

The problem with Africa was that my sisters guide was a collaborater or, what the less politically correct amongst us would call, a house negro...

I remember when I first heard of the Kenya Bombings. I remembered the hotel workers and my sisters guide, and my first thoughts were 'I'm not surprised'.

I've no doubt if she had chosen California as her holiday of choice, and had the resident Governor in chief Arnold Schwarzenegger as her guide, he'd have waxed lyrical about the lazy negros of compton, and her report would have been much the same.

This is my third time on Blair's diabolical New Deal programme. I chose the self employed option in a desperate bid to avoid ending up working for free for two years like the Kenyan hotel workers.

It's also my third application for finance to Fredericks, an organization recommended by my New Deal business adviser...

The first was by email, but I got an email back saying they didn't accept email applications, only paperwork ones.

The second was by post and was accompanied by a shitload of additional paperwork, photo id, bank statements, etc. But they said there wasn't enough paperwork, and the wanted more.

The third was by post again, and involved another very lengthy half inch thick form I'd previously filled in with Inbiz (although it was never forwarded), and it was to be added to all the paperwork I'd already done.

I got a call on Monday saying they want even more paperwork, as the cashflow/business plan I'd done still isn't good enough, despite the fact that it's based on a template Inbiz provided!
I don't think that I'm the only person in the country to say that Blairs New Deal, along with every other government training programme, is completely and totally pathetic.

Nevertheless, the constant fuck ups mean I can continue developing the software at my own pace, which means a more stable and reliable initial release. Also, I've been thinking about diversifying into content, as once I've got an office, dedicated server, and high risk IMA, all I'll need is a good camera.

Nothing too extreme, as I don't want anyone to catch aids and stuff, I'd prefer it if they enjoyed it. Just lesbian and solo shoots. I won't bother telling any of those New Deal Tards about that particular cash cow, as they'll only find another shitload of paperwork that needs doing.

In the meantime I'm going to be looking for a good credit card, as all the ones I've seen don't require a shitload of unneccesary paperwork, and are about 10% APR less than anything New Deal has to offer.

My tooth hurts!


© Sean Copland 1995-2014
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