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White Star Cider...

Choice Of The NHS Generation

Good for extracting teeth, reconstructive facial surgery, and depression...

It's no wonder this new miracle wonder cure is fast becoming the NHS replacement of choice in sunny old Blighty, birthplace of colonialism and oppression!

I finally pulled my tooth out last night. I would have done it sooner, but I was saving it on the off chance that an NHS dentist would miraculously appear in Portsmouth and give me the crown I so richly deserve, but half of it snapped off a few months ago, and last Friday the remaining half cracked when I was eating my dinner. I spent the week wiggling it to make it looser, then last night after drinking a few Carlsberg Exports, I decided to go for broke and coughed up a quid for a bottle of wino special. After much painful pulling and tugging, I finally managed to extract it, and with it all the pain and suffering it had inflicted upon me over the years.

I'm feeling better now.

02/May/2008 15:58

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© Sean Copland 1995-2014
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